Members Login
Post Info TOPIC: OK, What Up Doc?


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 7720
Date:
OK, What Up Doc?
 


What in the World makes a Handsome [in JFK Jnr type Handsome way] Guy end up marrying a grossly unattractive and frumpy Woman after dating a Gorgeous [as in Jessica Alba type Gorgeous] Woman?

Oh and please keep 'Personality' out of the equation here because Gorgeous Woman has a high dosage of it so it definitely ain't nothing of that sort.

Responses will be greatly appreciated, LOL.

__________________
"If at first you dont succeed, skydiving is not for you!" - Henny Youngman


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 391
Date:
 

Maybe it was the attitude/personality of the 2nd woman... Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

__________________


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 7720
Date:
 

Thanks Atua_Son, but I had a feeling that would be the first most logical answer, however there is no competition between personalities/attitudes in this case because Gorgeous Woman does very well in that department. In fact it also adds to her Attractiveness.

Anything else? LOL.

__________________
"If at first you dont succeed, skydiving is not for you!" - Henny Youngman


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 828
Date:
 

Sometimes it all boils down to INEXPERIENCE.

Perhaps the young man felt as though he needed to live a little? venture out into the unknown? how long was he dating this "Jessica Alba"? sometimes, boredom strikes the heart and destroys any last remains of a "connection" hehe.

Even if they were compatible as you say, were their futures compatible? or did one wish to pursue a career as opposed to settling down to build a family?


What I'm trying to say in a nutshell here is this,


Hunter, we need more information lol.

__________________
E SUI FAIGA, AE TUMAU PEA FA'AVAE


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 7720
Date:
 

Hmmm ....

Handsome compatible Couple - First Relationship with each other. They have the same background, same social group, interests, friends etc.

It has nothing to do with Career/Family aspirations as that is not so much of a difficult matter to work around considering their backgrounds.

Actually, now that I think about it - Handsome Rich Guy had a super jealous streak in Him and and would be a regular Bastard to Gorgeous Girl thinking She was cheating with every Guy that so much as said 'hello' to Her - bearing in mind that considering how Friendly Gorgeous Girl was; She also had a lot of Male Friends while growing up.

He was very insecure and after dating for so many years; Gorgeous Girl broke it off with Him. But only after He said NO to marriage.

And then He turns around and marries a Girl the complete opposite to His Ex in looks and all else.

It must make Him really secure, LOL.




__________________
"If at first you dont succeed, skydiving is not for you!" - Henny Youngman


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 828
Date:
 



There you go, I think it's CRYSTAL CLEAR from where I'm standing.

Insecurity AND Inexperience.

I think opposites attract more so when these deadly ingredients are added to the mixture.

He may have felt as though her "marriage proposal" was a final attempt to discredit his insecurities and ran for the nearest refuge lol.

Do you think a marriage proposal was the right thing to do amid his apparent insecurities? clearly, the young man had poor self-esteem. They should have been addressed prior to the proposal from where I'm sitting.

She may have felt as though "marriage" was the only solution, and clearly it didn't have the desired affect.






__________________
E SUI FAIGA, AE TUMAU PEA FA'AVAE


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 828
Date:
 

Marriage should never be "just another tool from my healthy relationships toolbox."

It should be the seal that places two together for LIFE. Any issues should be resolved long before this stage, and in this case, they were not.


-- Edited by Lupe Siliva on Saturday 7th of April 2012 10:37:04 PM

__________________
E SUI FAIGA, AE TUMAU PEA FA'AVAE


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 7720
Date:
 

Lupe Siliva wrote:



There you go, I think it's CRYSTAL CLEAR from where I'm standing.

Insecurity AND Inexperience.

I think opposites attract more so when these deadly ingredients are added to the mixture.

He may have felt as though her "marriage proposal" was a final attempt to discredit his insecurities and ran for the nearest refuge lol.

Do you think a marriage proposal was the right thing to do amid his apparent insecurities? clearly, the young man had poor self-esteem. They should have been addressed prior to the proposal from where I'm sitting.

She may have felt as though "marriage" was the only solution, and clearly it didn't have the desired affect.






Wow - Not that you say so - I can see all that now.

But She also laid down the marriage card because they had been going out for so many years. She needed to know where She stood because the clock was ticking and ticking very loudly [bloody Women and their clocks LOL].

After He said NO, it turned Her right off Him - She was no longer interested but He was just hanging on.

I guess it all just hits One's face when it's no longer there, LOL.



__________________
"If at first you dont succeed, skydiving is not for you!" - Henny Youngman


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 7720
Date:
 

Lupe Siliva wrote:

Marriage should never be "just another tool from my healthy relationships toolbox."

It should be the seal that places two together for LIFE. Any issues should be resolved long before this stage, and in this case, they were not.


-- Edited by Lupe Siliva on Saturday 7th of April 2012 10:37:04 PM




But how can an issue of One Party's insecurity over the Other's Attractiveness and Popularity be resolved?

__________________
"If at first you dont succeed, skydiving is not for you!" - Henny Youngman


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 828
Date:
 

Hunter wrote:

But how can an issue of One Party's insecurity over the Other's Attractiveness and Popularity be resolved?



The way I see it, here's what you can do:

What is the source of the insecurities? if it's physical appearance why don't you try highlighting his personal traits instead? perhaps he's compassionate and great with the gab?

You could suggest that he is the "go to" person for advice on everything under the rainbow - relationships, weight-related issues, politics, etc. Your friends could do with the free (no strings attached) counselling service.

This would warrant the odd compliment from your very own social networks,

"Sina, your partner is great with advice, I only wish we knew earlier."

The solution to insecurity is to COMPLIMENT as often as you can. This encourages the self-esteem and slaps on that self-confidence again. In many ways, it allows the person to forget the "physical shortfalls" and allows them to appreciate these other strengths that they may not have considered before.


Popularity? Easy, introduce him to your networks. Ask him to mingle, socialise, interact. Highlight his strengths whether that be in his career or in the other bonuses that I mentioned earlier lol.

Why not pull back on all the social events though. If it's only going to make your other half miserable; is there any harm in ignoring a few of the invitations? perhaps you could get to know his friends/circles instead? and more importantly spend some time alone, make it regular.


Attractiveness, do you have to shove it in his face at every public event? he wouldn't be with you if he wasn't already attracted to you. Perhaps, the answer here is to peal back on the make-up and leave some of those "must have" dresses behind. Jeans and a t-shirt might seal the deal every now and then hehe.

Also, encourage him to take personal grooming a lil more seriously too, if it's important to you than maybe he would understand?

But try not to humiliate him constantly by out-dressing and outshining him in public. Especially with family and friends, it can't be easy for anyone in that situation lol.


There, I've written a semi-essay for you now lmao. Enjoy!










__________________
E SUI FAIGA, AE TUMAU PEA FA'AVAE


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 7720
Date:
 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*I'm laughing so hard right now*

Let me get back to you after recovery over nearly spitting out my mouthful of Hot Chocolate I had while reading this

__________________
"If at first you dont succeed, skydiving is not for you!" - Henny Youngman


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 828
Date:
 

From my own experiences, those with 'insecurity' issues were usually neglected growing up. They were accustomed to living in the shadows of another, usually a sibling or someone similarly close. They were often ignored, discouraged, forgotten even.

Unaccustomed to compliments, encouragement, support. Fighting for something was second nature to them. Protecting the few possessions that they had was the norm.


Therefore, in relationships later in life they can struggle to adapt. They get possessive and paranoid. Their partner's friends are to be treated with suspicion and trace every hour, minute and second of the day that the partner spends alone.

Time unaccounted for is deadly and this usually sets them off on a tangent with allegations of fidelity and distrust.


__________________
E SUI FAIGA, AE TUMAU PEA FA'AVAE


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 828
Date:
 

Hunter wrote:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*I'm laughing so hard right now*

Let me get back to you after recovery over nearly spitting out my mouthful of Hot Chocolate I had while reading this







I'm drugged up on a few too many energy drinks, took the car for a spin to the drag races today, and I've been walking on the ceilings ever since.

-- Edited by Lupe Siliva on Saturday 7th of April 2012 11:35:38 PM

__________________
E SUI FAIGA, AE TUMAU PEA FA'AVAE


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 7720
Date:
 

Lupe Siliva wrote:

The way I see it, here's what you can do:

What is the source of the insecurities? if it's physical appearance why don't you try highlighting his personal traits instead? perhaps he's compassionate and great with the gab?

You could suggest that he is the "go to" person for advice on everything under the rainbow - relationships, weight-related issues, politics, etc. Your friends could do with the free (no strings attached) counselling service.

This would warrant the odd compliment from your very own social networks,

"Sina, your partner is great with advice, I only wish we knew earlier."

The solution to insecurity is to COMPLIMENT as often as you can. This encourages the self-esteem and slaps on that self-confidence again. In many ways, it allows the person to forget the "physical shortfalls" and allows them to appreciate these other strengths that they may not have considered before.


Popularity? Easy, introduce him to your networks. Ask him to mingle, socialise, interact. Highlight his strengths whether that be in his career or in the other bonuses that I mentioned earlier lol.

Why not pull back on all the social events though. If it's only going to make your other half miserable; is there any harm in ignoring a few of the invitations? perhaps you could get to know his friends/circles instead? and more importantly spend some time alone, make it regular.


Attractiveness, do you have to shove it in his face at every public event? he wouldn't be with you if he wasn't already attracted to you. Perhaps, the answer here is to peal back on the make-up and leave some of those "must have" dresses behind. Jeans and a t-shirt might seal the deal every now and then hehe.

Also, encourage him to take personal grooming a lil more seriously too, if it's important to you than maybe he would understand?

But try not to humiliate him constantly by out-dressing and outshining him in public. Especially with family and friends, it can't be easy for anyone in that situation lol.


There, I've written a semi-essay for you now lmao. Enjoy!





OK Gotcha;

=Zero in on his dashing attributes;
=Compliment, Compliment, Compliment
=Get to know His Network of Family and Friends and vice versa
=Compliment, Compliment, Compliment
=Spend less time socialising and more time alone [LMAO]
=Compliment, Compliment, Compliment
=Dress in Jeans and T-Shirt once in a blue moon but only in such instances as Grocery Shopping.
=Compliment, Compliment, Compliment

It sure sounds like a Recipe for Success!

Thanks Lupe Siliva!





__________________
"If at first you dont succeed, skydiving is not for you!" - Henny Youngman


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 7720
Date:
 

Lupe Siliva wrote:

From my own experiences, those with 'insecurity' issues were usually neglected growing up. They were accustomed to living in the shadows of another, usually a sibling or someone similarly close. They were often ignored, discouraged, forgotten even.

Unaccustomed to compliments, encouragement, support. Fighting for something was second nature to them. Protecting the few possessions that they had was the norm.


Therefore, in relationships later in life they can struggle to adapt. They get possessive and paranoid. Their partner's friends are to be treated with suspicion and trace every hour, minute and second of the day that the partner spends alone.

Time unaccounted for is deadly and this usually sets them off on a tangent with allegations of fidelity and distrust.





Aren't I glad I didn't wag 'Security Class' today - Extremely informative and helpful

__________________
"If at first you dont succeed, skydiving is not for you!" - Henny Youngman


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 7720
Date:
 

Lupe Siliva wrote:



I'm drugged up on a few too many energy drinks, took the car for a spin to the drag races today, and I've been walking on the ceilings ever since.

-- Edited by Lupe Siliva on Saturday 7th of April 2012 11:35:38 PM



You should do that more often!



__________________
"If at first you dont succeed, skydiving is not for you!" - Henny Youngman
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse
Powered by ActiveBoard