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Post Info TOPIC: FUNNY SAMOAN JOKES
KEFE

Date:
FUNNY SAMOAN JOKES
 


There was a Maori, Hawaiian, and Samoan. One day the Maori got news that there was a big earthquake coming so he yelled, "Gather everything we need and run to the top of the hill!". So the Maori grabbed food, and ran to the top of the hill. Then the Hawaiian grabbed pillows and blankets and ran to the top of the hill. Well, the Samoan, he tore off the car door, and ran to the top of the hill.

When they got to the top of the hill the Maori looked at the Hawaiian and said, "Hey! Why'd you bring pillows and blankets?", and the Hawaiian replied, "In case we get tired, we can sleep". Then the Hawaiian said to the Maori,"Hey! Why'd you bring the food?", and the Maori replied, "In case we get hungry, we can eat." Then they both looked at the Samoan and said,"Hey! Why'd you bring the car door?". And the Samoan looked at them and said," In case we get hot, we can roll down the window!"


IF HAVE ANY JOKES PLZ WRITE THEM DOWN...PEACE ALL..

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Anonymous

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Hi there...
there were ladies they have problem with their relationship..
One lady is a mistress,another one was a married woman,and the other woman was an ex...
They met @ the coffee shop and discuss what they will have to do to get their man on the game again.
They both agree,with a black leather jacket with seeing through tiny top that attracted their man...nett stocking with red high heels..and a black mask...
The mistress was @ home sitting on the couch,, wating for the her man,,,already on her sexy outfit,he walk in,he said wholly ghost,,,you looks sexy my dear,they have hot passion all nite through.
The ex left home early b4 her man arrives @ work.he walks in,she was sitting on the table,he said what the hell,they have hot passion all afternoon.
The married woman wating for her man IN THE KITHEN,she dressed up like the other,with her mask,tightfit black nett stocking and the black leather jacket.
He walked in,switch the lights on, she took the jacket off,and he said to her.
Darling whats for dinner..

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Anonymous

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lol ur names so funny!! luvd the joke

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Anonymous

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ALRIGHT THERE WAS THIS HAWAIIAN GUY AND HE WANTED TO BECOME A TONGAN BECAUSE HE FELT TONGANS ARE COOL...SO HE WENT TO THE DOCTER AND ASKED HIM HOW CAN HE BECOME A TONGAN...THE DOCTER SAID ALL I HAVE TO DO IS TAKE HALF OF YOUR BRAIN OUT AND YOU WILL BE A TONGAN...THE HAWAIIAN GUY SAID THATS IT...LETS DO THIS...DURING THE SURGERY THE DOCTER REALIZED HE TOOK MORE THEN HALF...BUT ABOUT 95% OF THE HAWAIIAN GUYZ BRAIN OUT...AFTER THE SURGERY THE DOCTER WOKE UP THE HAWAIIAN GUY TO TELL HIM THE BAD NEWZ, THE HAWAIIAN GUY REPLIED SOLE USO ISH ALL GOOD OFEA LE PEPA KE SAIGI

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Anonymous

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Anonymous wrote:

ALRIGHT THERE WAS THIS HAWAIIAN GUY AND HE WANTED TO BECOME A TONGAN BECAUSE HE FELT TONGANS ARE COOL...SO HE WENT TO THE DOCTER AND ASKED HIM HOW CAN HE BECOME A TONGAN...THE DOCTER SAID ALL I HAVE TO DO IS TAKE HALF OF YOUR BRAIN OUT AND YOU WILL BE A TONGAN...THE HAWAIIAN GUY SAID THATS IT...LETS DO THIS...DURING THE SURGERY THE DOCTER REALIZED HE TOOK MORE THEN HALF...BUT ABOUT 95% OF THE HAWAIIAN GUYZ BRAIN OUT...AFTER THE SURGERY THE DOCTER WOKE UP THE HAWAIIAN GUY TO TELL HIM THE BAD NEWZ, THE HAWAIIAN GUY REPLIED SOLE USO ISH ALL GOOD OFEA LE PEPA KE SAIGI




I DIDN'T LAUGH EVEN A GRIN.. NO FUNNY, JUST STUPID. WE NEED FUNNY ONES NOT STUPID AND SILLY ITS ANNOYING

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Anonymous

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makua DRY!!! lmao

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Anonymous

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

ALRIGHT THERE WAS THIS HAWAIIAN GUY AND HE WANTED TO BECOME A TONGAN BECAUSE HE FELT TONGANS ARE COOL...SO HE WENT TO THE DOCTER AND ASKED HIM HOW CAN HE BECOME A TONGAN...THE DOCTER SAID ALL I HAVE TO DO IS TAKE HALF OF YOUR BRAIN OUT AND YOU WILL BE A TONGAN...THE HAWAIIAN GUY SAID THATS IT...LETS DO THIS...DURING THE SURGERY THE DOCTER REALIZED HE TOOK MORE THEN HALF...BUT ABOUT 95% OF THE HAWAIIAN GUYZ BRAIN OUT...AFTER THE SURGERY THE DOCTER WOKE UP THE HAWAIIAN GUY TO TELL HIM THE BAD NEWZ, THE HAWAIIAN GUY REPLIED SOLE USO ISH ALL GOOD OFEA LE PEPA KE SAIGI




I DIDN'T LAUGH EVEN A GRIN.. NO FUNNY, JUST STUPID. WE NEED FUNNY ONES NOT STUPID AND SILLY ITS ANNOYING



OOPS MY BAD DID I GET UNDER YOUR SKIN...ITS JUST A JOKE...AND I CALL BS ON THAT
GRIN...YOU PROBABLY DID BUT FELT OFFENDED AND HAD TO DO WHATS RIGHT WHICH
WAS TO DOWN PLAY THIS JOKE...BUT THATS COOL I FEEL YOU...IM SAMOAN TO...ONE OF THE USO'S TOLD THE JOKE...IVE BUSTED OUT LAUGHING BUT AT THE SAME TIME I WAS LIKE WHY GOTTA BE SAMOANS FOR..

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KAMIV

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biggrin.gifWHAT DO YOU KALL A SAMONA WITH A COWBOY HAT ON?


A WESTERN SAMOAN.

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Anonymous

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E IAI SI LO'OMATUA MAI SAVAI'I NA ALU I NZ. O'O LOA I LE WEEKEND, AVE LOA E LE AIGA I LE ALL YOU CAN EAT RESTAURANT. ALU A LEA O LE AI A SI LO'OMAKUA.
TOE FO'I LOA I SAMOA SI LO'OMATUA, ALU LOA MIMITA MA FA'AMATALA I LO NA AIGA I SAMOA, O LE MEA LA SA TUPU I LE RESTAURANT, SA PASI AGE LEA TRAY AI, PASI AGE LEISI TRAY MEA AI, AI SI LO'OMATUA. FA'AMATALA LOA E SI LO'OMATUA, FAI MAI,

''KE ILOA OUKOU, MAKUA FIU LAVA E AI SOLE I LE FALEAIGA LEA SA MAKOU IAI, AE VAAI OUKOU, PASI AGE LEA TIOI AI, PASI AGE LEISI TIOI AI, FIU LE MEA E AI TIOI.
MAGUIA LE FA'ASAUGA

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Anonymous

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KEFE wrote:

There was a Maori, Hawaiian, and Samoan. One day the Maori got news that there was a big earthquake coming so he yelled, "Gather everything we need and run to the top of the hill!". So the Maori grabbed food, and ran to the top of the hill. Then the Hawaiian grabbed pillows and blankets and ran to the top of the hill. Well, the Samoan, he tore off the car door, and ran to the top of the hill.When they got to the top of the hill the Maori looked at the Hawaiian and said, "Hey! Why'd you bring pillows and blankets?", and the Hawaiian replied, "In case we get tired, we can sleep". Then the Hawaiian said to the Maori,"Hey! Why'd you bring the food?", and the Maori replied, "In case we get hungry, we can eat." Then they both looked at the Samoan and said,"Hey! Why'd you bring the car door?". And the Samoan looked at them and said," In case we get hot, we can roll down the window!"IF HAVE ANY JOKES PLZ WRITE THEM DOWN...PEACE ALL..




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Popi L

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O aso ia ua leva sa masani ona oso mai ai pasi a Falealili ma Safata agai atu i Leulumoega ma Nofoalii ona sa faasa ia le auala lea e oso mai i Tiavi ona e tele aega ma pioga. Ia oo loa i leisi aso sau loa le pasi mai Safata ua matua tumu lava ua leai ma se ofi ae toe toatasi lava le tagata lae nofo e leai ma se tagata e sii ai ona o le faifeau e leiloa poo se faifeau Assembly poo se LMS poo se Metotisi poo se Pope poo seisi foi ituaiga. Ia ona sau ai a lea o le pasi ua matua tumu saisai lava ao lea e sasao lava le susuga i le faafeagaiga e leai ma se pisa, Ia oo mai loa le pasi i Nofoalii vaai atu le avepasi o lana pasese masani lava si teine lae faatu maia ia ma leisi mea ua toeiti lava ta le valu o le taimi amata o galuega i Apia, ia tu loa le pasi valaau atu loa le faifeau i le teine e sau e nofo i luga o ona vae ia sau loa le teine. E lei leva lava ona alu le pasi ae eueu atu e le faifeau le tauau ole teine ma faapea atu, Teine ou te iloa le mea e te faigaluega ai, ona faapea mai lea o le teine o fea la? ona tali mai lea o le faifeau, ole Bank faimai le teine faafefea ona e iloaina, fai mai le faifeau ou te iloa i lau toniga. Ona alu foi a lea o le pasi, Ona eueu atu lea e le teine ia le faifeau ma faapea atu ou te iloa le mea e te faigaluega ai, ia fai mai le faifeau o fea la? ona faapea atu lea o le teine e te inisinia ona faapea atu lea o le faifeau, faafefea ona e iloaina? ona faapea mai lea o le teine ua malo mai lava lau Screwdriver, ona oso loa lea i lalo le teine ma alu loa e faigaluega ae ua maua le ova a le faifeau.

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Anonymous

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MOST OV DEEZ JOKEZ ARE LYK.....

MAKUAAAAAAAA DRYYYYYYYYYYYY !!



DA FIRST WUN WOZ ALRITE...

DEN DEE FOLLOWING WUNZ WERE JUS OWT OV ET ....

AW WELL ANYWAYZ

P E A C E !!

smile.gif

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brizzy chickah !!

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true storyyy

A Sunday School teacher came into our class and presented a beautiful lesson on the Life of Christ. He didn't make any fob remarks (except for the pronounciation of Jesus - he said, cheesus) until he got to the very end of his lesson. Wanting to drive his point home in our young hearts, he held up his right hand, showing two fingers and said, "Cheesus say only two words...Come follow me (3 words)."






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Anonymous

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Anonymous wrote:

MOST OV DEEZ JOKEZ ARE LYK.....

MAKUAAAAAAAA DRYYYYYYYYYYYY !!



DA FIRST WUN WOZ ALRITE...

DEN DEE FOLLOWING WUNZ WERE JUS OWT OV ET ....

AW WELL ANYWAYZ

P E A C E !!

smile.gif








shux hard owt makua dry, even the first one ae sau fo'i ma le keige lea mai brisbane o le mea a e kasi..

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Anonymous

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there were three ladies in a coffee shop Irish lady Scottish lady and a Samoan lady, all talking about how there love lives have gone down hill after marriage and asking each other on what tips they should use to spark things up in the bedroom, so they all decided that they will go and buy black sexy lingerie and wear it when they go to sleep and meet back at the coffee shop to see if it had sparked anything off in the bedroom, next day they met at the coffee shop and they asked the Scottish lady, "so how did it go last night with the black sexy lingerie" the Scottish replied "oh it was lovely I stood at the door while he was in bed and when he looked at me wham bang we did it like three times" then they asked the Irish lady and the Irish lady replied "Yeah I stood at the door with my lingerie on and my husband grabbed me and threw me on the bed and we did it 5 times" then they asked the Samoan woman how it went and she said "oh my husband was watching t.v on the bed and I stood there at the door with my black lingerie on and he looked at me then looked at the t.v. then looked at me again and laughed Hey batman turn off the lights and close the door before you leave.

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KEFE

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Anonymous wrote:

there were three ladies in a coffee shop Irish lady Scottish lady and a Samoan lady, all talking about how there love lives have gone down hill after marriage and asking each other on what tips they should use to spark things up in the bedroom, so they all decided that they will go and buy black sexy lingerie and wear it when they go to sleep and meet back at the coffee shop to see if it had sparked anything off in the bedroom, next day they met at the coffee shop and they asked the Scottish lady, "so how did it go last night with the black sexy lingerie" the Scottish replied "oh it was lovely I stood at the door while he was in bed and when he looked at me wham bang we did it like three times" then they asked the Irish lady and the Irish lady replied "Yeah I stood at the door with my lingerie on and my husband grabbed me and threw me on the bed and we did it 5 times" then they asked the Samoan woman how it went and she said "oh my husband was watching t.v on the bed and I stood there at the door with my black lingerie on and he looked at me then looked at the t.v. then looked at me again and laughed Hey batman turn off the lights and close the door before you leave.




man dat was a crack up...faafetai lava mo le joke man..

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KEFE

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THERE WAS THIS AUSTRALIAN MAN, ENGLISH MAN AND A SAMOAN MAN AND THEY ALL WANTED TO JOIN THE ARMY SO THE GENERAL ASKS ALL OF THEM THE SAME QUESTIONS FIRST HE GOES TO THE AUSTRALIAN MAN, HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE? HE REPLIES 'ONE MILLION DOLLARS' THE GENERAL ASKS WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO BUY , HE REPLIES 'A BAZUKA' THE GENERAL ASKS, WHO ARE YOU GOING TO BE, HE REPLIES 'COMMANDO' THE GENERAL SAYS HE CAN JOIN THE ARMY, THE GENERAL THEN ASKS THE THE ENGLISH MAN, HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE -'TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS' WHAT ARE YOU GONNA BUY-'A MACHINE GUN' WHO ARE YOU GONNA BE-'RAMBO' THE GENERAL SAYS HE CAN JOIN THE ARMY, THEN THE GENERAL GETS TO THE SAMOAN MAN HE ASKS HIM,HOW MUCH YOU GOT, THE SAMOAN REPLIES, 'TWO TALA' WHAT THE HELL! THE GENERAL SAYS, 'WHAT CAN YOU BUY WITH TWO TALA?' A BREAD, THE SAMOAN REPLIES, THE GENERAL ASTOUNDED THEN SAYS 'WHO THE HELL ARE YOU GONNA BE WITH A LOAF OF BREAD' THE SAMOAN MAN REPLIES 'BREADATOR'

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KEFE

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A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather humorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was keying in. "P....E....N....I....S.." His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied: **** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH*****

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KEFE

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FATU GOES OVER HIS BUDDY ISAAKO'S HOUSE AND KNOCKS ON THE DOOR. SALA(ISAAKO'S WIFE) OPENS THE DOOR.
'IS ISAAKO HOME?' FATU ASKS.
SHE REPLIES,'NO HE JUST STEPPED OUT FOR A FEW MINUTES. YOU WANNA COME INSIDE TO WAIT FOR HIM?'
'SURE WHY NOT!' SAYS FATU.
WHILE WALKING BEHIND SALA HE NOTICES HOW BEAUTIFUL HER BODY LOOKS WRAPPED IN HER IE LAVALAVA. THEN FATU SAYS, 'YOU LOOK VERY BEAUTIFUL.'
'WHY THANK YOU.' SAYS SALA. THEN FATU ASKS,'I'LL GIVE YOU $200 IF I COULD JUST SEE YOU
WITHOUT THE IE LAVALAVA JUST FOR A MINUTE.'
SALA THINKS ABOUT IT FOR A MINUTE AND SAYS,'HEY ITS $200 WHY NOT.'
THEN THE LAVALAVA DROPS AND SHE IS TOTALLY NUDE FOR A MINUTE.
FATU SMILES AND TAKES OUT HIS WALLET AND GIVES HER THE $200. AFTER THAT HE SAYS,'I CANT WAIT ANY LONGER. CAN U TELL ISAAKO I STOPPED BY?'
TEN MINUTES LATER ISAAKO COMES HOME.
'YOUR FRIEND FATU WAS HERE YOU JUST MISSED HIM.'
ISAAKO SAYS,'OH WELL, DID HE LEAVE THE $200 THAT HE OWES ME?'

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Anonymous

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LOL .... FUNNY JOKES...





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Anonymous

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Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting
about their relationships and decided to amaze their men.
That night all threewill wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their
eyes.



After a few days they meet up for lunch.



The engaged meauli woman Lakisha: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He
saw me and said, "You are the woman of my life. I love you. Then we
made love all night long.



The palagi mistress Blondie: Me too! The other night I met my lover
at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes
and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had
wild sex all night.



Tala the Samoan married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my
mother's house for the night. When Kiuga came home I was wearing the
leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.

As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, "What's for dinner, Batman?"biggrin.gif



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Anonymous

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New jokes please.... not a rephrase of the old ones.... boring

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Anonymous

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two men were having lunch at a building site. A fly came woozzing around. The palagi was annoyed and tried several times to catch the fly with his bare hands. The Samoan guy offered to help. He pushed his pointer finger deep into his arse.... pulled it out slowly... and held it up infront of their faces. Took them less than two seconds before the fly settled itself on that finger.

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Anonymous

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Three men were working on a ten storey building. There was an earthquake....and so they decided it was time to pray and jumped to safety... The palagi guy jumped first and yelled.... please God save me.... Then the Maoli man jumped and or course yelled.... please God save me...... then the Samoan guy jumped and yelled..... GOD please shave me....

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Anonymous

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Hi KEFE, I like your topic. Obviously therez many many many more jokes people may like to share..... but you need to change your name..... to circumcize (or not)

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KEFE

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Anonymous wrote:

Hi KEFE, I like your topic. Obviously therez many many many more jokes people may like to share..... but you need to change your name..... to circumcize (or not)






sorri no can do everyfinks kefe is not my real name bt for real people dats my name ya'll bt how about komo would dat do...hahahhahaha

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Anonymous

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was dat suppozed to be a (Samoan) joke????? I miself didn't get it???

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Anonymous

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ohhhhhh snap I gant beliv it!!!! too funny I can't wait to tell my wife Tala that there is a joke about us!!! biggrin.gifbiggrin.gifbiggrin.gifsmile.gifsmile.gif

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VALE KAI TAE

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DEA WAS A SAMOAN MAN A TONGAN MAN AND A NIUEAN MAN THEY ALL WENT ON A TRIP TO THIS PLACE THEY HEARD OF WHERE THEY CAN SLIDE DOWN AND MAKE A WISH AND THE WISH WILL COMEE TRUEE !! SO WHEN THEY ARRIVED THEY WERE ASKING WHO WAS GOING TO SLIDE DOWN FIRST ! SO DA TONGAN MAN SLIDES DOWN AND YELLS OWT GOLDDDDDDDDDDDDDD ! THEN WEN HE GOT OFF THE SLIDE HE HAD GOLD IN HIS POCKET AND DEN NEXT WAS DA NIUEANS TURN HE WENT DOWN AND YELLED OWT SILVERRRRRRRRRRRRR !! ! THEN WEN HE GOT OWT HE GOT SILVER IN HIS POCKETT HAHA AND THEN THE SAMOAN MAN WENT DOWN AND FORGOT THAT HE HAD TO MAKE A WISH SO INSTEADD HE WEN DOWN THE SLIDEE AND SAID WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ! AHAH AND THEN HIS PANTS GOT FILLED WITH URINE :L

dRY YEAH I KNO ! .

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C#

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VALE KAE TAE? WHAT A HORRIBLE NAME LOL LOL LOL ......

AND YOU MUST BE TONGAN? I THINK YOU'RE IN THE WRONG FORUM .....IM PRETTY SURE TONGAN PEOPLE JUST UPDATED THERE WEBSITE FOR TONGANKAETAE.FORUM.COM

HAVE A PLSNT NYTE evileye.gif

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