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Curious_54

Date:
Adultery in Samoa - Your thoughts?


Hi just out of interest what are your thoughts on Adultery in Samoa? Am currently living in the homeland, have noticed how rampant it is over here. From NZ originally and have been living in a box, having witnessed parents who were loyal to each other. But over here it seems acceptable to be married and have you boy/girl friend on the side!! Just out of interest anyway people, i think it's unacceptable but people are doing it and everyone knows who is messing with who!

Thanks

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Virgin

Date:

I see alot of that when I was there. you are right. Here in NZ adultery dont happen that much or yet its so low no one knows about it. But in Samoa, some family members know about this ones affair with someone else but they dont do anything about it... thats hidieous...

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Tama o le Moa Ula

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Yes adultery is rampant in Samoa, especially I have found in Apia....damn it can be shocking which is why if you do decide to have an adulterous affair in Samoa you had better be aware that everyone will find out about it sooner rather than later....

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Curious_54

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It's funny, you know people will know who a guys mistress is but they don't "talk" about it. I was out with my cousin one night and she saw one of her good friends other half messing with a younger girl, he tells her not to talk. I was like furious, i told my cuz, that's your girls man, you should tell her, but her attitude was not to disclose anything!! But you are right, why do people end up in adulterous affairs in the first place? One is being incomplete, but i tell you a lot of cabinet/MPs have affairs are married to what i considered "ideal women" but still want to get their side salad...i guess just greed/selfishness...yes you are right Tama o le Moa Ula, you can't hide anything in Samoa it all gets out in the end!!

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Anonymous

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Curious_54 wrote:

It's funny, you know people will know who a guys mistress is but they don't "talk" about it. I was out with my cousin one night and she saw one of her good friends other half messing with a younger girl, he tells her not to talk. I was like furious, i told my cuz, that's your girls man, you should tell her, but her attitude was not to disclose anything!! But you are right, why do people end up in adulterous affairs in the first place? One is being incomplete, but i tell you a lot of cabinet/MPs have affairs are married to what i considered "ideal women" but still want to get their side salad...i guess just greed/selfishness...yes you are right Tama o le Moa Ula, you can't hide anything in Samoa it all gets out in the end!!




C'MON, YOU GOTTA HAVE DESSERT WITH YOUR MEAL.. biggrin.gifwink.gifwink.gif

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Curious_54

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Lol haha funny, but than what is better for you, your dessert or your meal?? You know like the saying, why have eat a hambuger when you got steak at home? lol

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Anonymous

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Curious_54 wrote:

Lol haha funny, but than what is better for you, your dessert or your meal?? You know like the saying, why have eat a hambuger when you got steak at home? lol




TOO RIGHT..THATS WHAT I MEAN TOO..HEHE biggrin.gifwink.gif

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Anonymous

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I knew a girl in Samoa when I went over for a trip. She was my partners sister who was married to her husband for 7 years. they have 2 kids. When i got there she was having an affair with a guy 2 village away, she would use me as an excuse to go faatafao me, then we would go to this guys house, I would sit in the car the whole night while she bonking him in the beach or under some laau. Then when her husband rings up on the phone to see what we up to I always felt guilty lying for her. Then when we get back home, he bonks her there, I wont be suprised if AIDS starts spreading around rapidly, with all the comotions that goes on...

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kAfioLae

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Anonymous wrote:

Curious_54 wrote:

It's funny, you know people will know who a guys mistress is but they don't "talk" about it. I was out with my cousin one night and she saw one of her good friends other half messing with a younger girl, he tells her not to talk. I was like furious, i told my cuz, that's your girls man, you should tell her, but her attitude was not to disclose anything!! But you are right, why do people end up in adulterous affairs in the first place? One is being incomplete, but i tell you a lot of cabinet/MPs have affairs are married to what i considered "ideal women" but still want to get their side salad...i guess just greed/selfishness...yes you are right Tama o le Moa Ula, you can't hide anything in Samoa it all gets out in the end!!




C'MON, YOU GOTTA HAVE DESSERT WITH YOUR MEAL.. biggrin.gifwink.gifwink.gif




ahahaha, TOO MUCH DESSERT AND EXPECT AN AXE TO FOLLOW.

Lust prevails i guess. How Sad.

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curious_54

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You are right kAfioLae, it does seem that lust prevails and prehaps the consequences are the STI's, that's why it makes sense to be with ONE person:)

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kAfioLae

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I've been off island for so many years and i've heard so many rumours of infidelities amongst the Samoans in my neighborhood but never saw it myself. Moved back home 2 yrs ago and, what an awakening it was. Cheaters are cowards, only brave to cheat but cowardly to admit wrong.

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Anonymous

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SOLE DONT HATE THE PLAYER HATE THE GAME!!!!!!!

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tama fanau samoa moni

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Guess what e adultery foi faifeau,o latou ia ua solomua le mulilua..agai ae ai male au aiafu ole o tagata e faigaluega ile malo..le kapeneta auoi ole tai a le afi..o nai fafine e faapele ile tuatusi ae o mai ile vaveao...they have lots of these men they do have mistress in Savaii so as upolu...ole faamai lea o lea ua a'e i samoa..samoa women in samoa if u have that feeling of not knowing where ur husband working late..don't worried,as long as u control the budget...let them enjoy their sexuality passion,believe me its hurting but u will be safe guard as long as the money comes to u..

BASTARD THEY PLAY THE FIELD,ENDING UP WITH NOTHING ONE DAY...

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Virgin

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I Agree with Tama Samoa, sa'o lelei a oe, e solomua i faifeau, parliament...

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TaiLa

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There was this lady who was a faiaoga aso sa, and she was such a biarch.
She would smack us if we didn't know the proper answer to a certain fesili.
I was soooooo pissed off when I found out that she had an affair with her husband with another man within the loku hahaha.
I'm laughing coz that man is known to be a player yet she had an affair with him? Hahaha what a dick.
Anyway the reason why it pissed me off is because all those years she's been lecturing us about the tulafono's and one of them is "Aua e te mulilua" which she did.
And of course as you would expect, she got threats from family members to piss off and never to show her face around them etc.


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*~Sina~*

Date:

TaiLa wrote:

There was this lady who was a faiaoga aso sa, and she was such a biarch.
She would smack us if we didn't know the proper answer to a certain fesili.
I was soooooo pissed off when I found out that she had an affair with her husband with another man within the loku hahaha.
I'm laughing coz that man is known to be a player yet she had an affair with him? Hahaha what a dick.
Anyway the reason why it pissed me off is because all those years she's been lecturing us about the tulafono's and one of them is "Aua e te mulilua" which she did.
And of course as you would expect, she got threats from family members to piss off and never to show her face around them etc.






biggrin.gifbiggrin.gifSolomua lava le au kaukakala le amiovalea!laughing.gif

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kAfioLae

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tama fanau samoa moni wrote:


Guess what e adultery foi faifeau,o latou ia ua solomua le mulilua..agai ae ai male au aiafu ole o tagata e faigaluega ile malo..le kapeneta auoi ole tai a le afi..o nai fafine e faapele ile tuatusi ae o mai ile vaveao...they have lots of these men they do have mistress in Savaii so as upolu...ole faamai lea o lea ua a'e i samoa..samoa women in samoa if u have that feeling of not knowing where ur husband working late..don't worried,as long as u control the budget...let them enjoy their sexuality passion,believe me its hurting but u will be safe guard as long as the money comes to u..

BASTARD THEY PLAY THE FIELD,ENDING UP WITH NOTHING ONE DAY...






Ae sa'o lelei oe Tama. Talofa e i fafige e mafai ona taofia le tiga aemaise i le latou a to'alua e momoe i solo fa'avalevalea fa'apega. Sa'o, ONE DAY....

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Virgin

Date:

I had a friend who she has graduated from Malua. She said this is so common. An aoao (single) got to a faifeaus wife, and now she is pregnant with his child, but the faifeau think its his...Man I feel sorry for the guy, no one should be treated like that.

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The Truth

Date:

Maybe (and I'm just throwing this out there) it is influenced by the reluctance to speak on the matter. There are many things Samoans just don't talk about mostly out of shame.

I spoke with a pastor recently who got his Divinity degree in the states. He said that when studying they would do marriage counseling for couples, and the couples were very open and repentant about their problems, however, over here people just don't air dirty laundry...

Ya know, (and this just kills me) like how many families will allow child molesting uncles to stay around the family and prey on their children because to kick him out would bring shame to the family. Maybe it's the same type of logic. "Let's just all ignore the Elephant in the room"

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Anonymous

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Hahaha.....when I was a kid, my mom's best friend who was also my Sunday school teacher had a wild affair with one of the married deacon in our congregation..Its was well known by the whole village, I didn't understand at the time, I thought It was natural..My mom had a boyfriend as well, a married teacher in one of those school in Apia, his wife was a nurse at the Motootua hospital, I used to hate it when the man spent the night at our house, mind you he took the last bus from Apia just to sleep next to my mom, who slept next to my sister and I..Even as a child I never felt comfotable whenever he came to visit but we never said anything to my mom, coz as a Samoan child I was not allowed to voice my opinion..I didn't have a voice except to say, yes please and no thank you.
My mom and her aualuma friends, I think thats what they were called, ladies that were either widowers or old maid, anyways they used to sit around the fale komiti and discussed their boyfriends, they would tell me to go sit in the corner and read and pay no mind to them...bunch of homewreckers...I think our faifeau knew but never council the women. I was so happy when my mom announced one day that it was time to move back home, to Hawaii..I think her lover's wife found out and threatened to kill her...My mom was the best in the whole world but she was also a woman with lots of flaws, who never admitted when she was in the wrong.If only I knew what I know now...Its my opinion and I tell this to everyone who ask about the island, that we are most devoted christians anywhere, yet our people back home are also the most confused and misguided whne it comes to the Scripture...BTW, IS COMMON MARRIAGE STILL PRACTICE NOWADAYS?

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Virgin

Date:

So I guess everyone who are Samoans have experience Adultery, if its not them, its someone around them. I then think these people who got married dont realise that commiting Aldutery is a sin. A marriage is a feagaiga between you and God and your partner. Its either these people got married for wrong reasons which is, pregnancy, lust, visas, insurance (haha like if Samoans have any) LOL...

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TaiLa

Date:

The other thing with this whole mulilua thing in Samoa, if you're gonna get married to a Samoan lady/man, then you find yourself in a situation where you are going to commit adultery, DON'T DO IT!! Thats just suicide in Samoan culture hahahaha.
Plus a lot of people get hurt.
The person's within the "LOVE" triangle, the family member who wants to kick your ass to death, both sides of the family that find out about the affair, the community who looked up to these people for advice on life etc.
aww.gifbiggrin.gifaww.gifbiggrin.gifaww.gifbiggrin.gifwink.gifwink.gif

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Anonymous

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My mom and her twin sister went to the Upolu to visit my great granny, this was years ago before I was born, they went to dinner and dancing in Apia, my aunt was pregnant with her first child at the time she was 28, a drunken guy asked for a dance and my aunt declined because she was heavy with child, the guy kept insisting and would not leave her alone..She finally gave in, she didn't want to cause any scene, he started grabbing her and kissing her, my aunt had to walk off the dance floor too humiliated.My uncle had to tell him to back off, mom said as they were leaving five ladies/ women jumped my aunt, they threw rocks at her and kicked her everywhere but mostly on her stomach...My aunt lost her baby on the spot, and was pronounced dead by the time they got to Motootua..Later they found out the gentleman was a married police officer from a well know village near Apia, his sister in-laws and two sisters were the culpits..They were charged with two two counts of murders, my aunty and the unborn baby, because she was seven and a half months pregnant.
The village came to my mom's family I forgot what you call it, they covered themselves with fine mats and asked the High Chief for forgiveness..Mom didn't go into details, but from what some family members said that day on was the beginning of the feud between the two villages, I won't mentioned the villages for fear of offending anyone..Two weeks later a bus went off the road and into the family's house killing five people including the getleman who never spent a day in prison..This is a long post, but it goes back the prior manatu, of people getting violent and people commiting adultery without thinking of the consequences.

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kAfioLae

Date:

Ok, now that's sad and very unfair.

I often wonder why women tend to go straight for the 'other woman' and cannot confront their own men. Why rage against the other person? At it's worse, that's what happens when you jump to far into conclusions, 2 innocent lives are taken away.

It's also sad why women persist to remain in these cheating, adulterous relationship. If the obvious is there save the heartache and leave. There are more better things to focus on in life than worry whether your man is cheating today or has cheated this week.

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The Truth

Date:

Anonymous wrote:

My mom and her twin sister went to the Upolu to visit my great granny, this was years ago before I was born, they went to dinner and dancing in Apia, my aunt was pregnant with her first child at the time she was 28, a drunken guy asked for a dance and my aunt declined because she was heavy with child, the guy kept insisting and would not leave her alone..She finally gave in, she didn't want to cause any scene, he started grabbing her and kissing her, my aunt had to walk off the dance floor too humiliated.My uncle had to tell him to back off, mom said as they were leaving five ladies/ women jumped my aunt, they threw rocks at her and kicked her everywhere but mostly on her stomach...My aunt lost her baby on the spot, and was pronounced dead by the time they got to Motootua..Later they found out the gentleman was a married police officer from a well know village near Apia, his sister in-laws and two sisters were the culpits..They were charged with two two counts of murders, my aunty and the unborn baby, because she was seven and a half months pregnant.
The village came to my mom's family I forgot what you call it, they covered themselves with fine mats and asked the High Chief for forgiveness..Mom didn't go into details, but from what some family members said that day on was the beginning of the feud between the two villages, I won't mentioned the villages for fear of offending anyone..Two weeks later a bus went off the road and into the family's house killing five people including the getleman who never spent a day in prison..This is a long post, but it goes back the prior manatu, of people getting violent and people commiting adultery without thinking of the consequences.






How sad. I agree with the other poster who says why retaliate against the one who your spouse is cheating with? What if they had no idea? The vow is between you and your spouse, the spouse is the one who broke the vow. I am so sorry about your aunty and her unborn.

I have a cousin who found out her husband had an affair while off island. My cousin then tainted kool-aid with pesticide and drank it and also gave it to her children to drink. Fortunately the children did not drink however my cousin died... and all for what? This is why I tell my young nieces don't be like most the girls their age and marry too young. I tell them to get their education and their lives in order so even if they have children they don't have to depend on anyone, because many women stay in unfaithful relationships because they feel they have no way to support their family. That is not love, it's necessity.

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Virgin

Date:

kAfioLae wrote:

Ok, now that's sad and very unfair.

I often wonder why women tend to go straight for the 'other woman' and cannot confront their own men. Why rage against the other person? At it's worse, that's what happens when you jump to far into conclusions, 2 innocent lives are taken away.

It's also sad why women persist to remain in these cheating, adulterous relationship. If the obvious is there save the heartache and leave. There are more better things to focus on in life than worry whether your man is cheating today or has cheated this week.






To answer your question, you will have to walk in those shoes as why woman stay in those kind of relationship. It like getting stuck in a mud the deeper you go in the harder to get out. Especially when this man tells you what you want to hear, they show you what you wanna see, and you fall into it like a trap. Ive been there and I regret it big time. I suffered the consequences. But you see God works in mysterious ways, thats a reminder of me why Adultery is a sin and I never ever will go back into that again.

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The Truth

Date:

Virgin wrote:

kAfioLae wrote:

Ok, now that's sad and very unfair.

I often wonder why women tend to go straight for the 'other woman' and cannot confront their own men. Why rage against the other person? At it's worse, that's what happens when you jump to far into conclusions, 2 innocent lives are taken away.

It's also sad why women persist to remain in these cheating, adulterous relationship. If the obvious is there save the heartache and leave. There are more better things to focus on in life than worry whether your man is cheating today or has cheated this week.






To answer your question, you will have to walk in those shoes as why woman stay in those kind of relationship. It like getting stuck in a mud the deeper you go in the harder to get out. Especially when this man tells you what you want to hear, they show you what you wanna see, and you fall into it like a trap. Ive been there and I regret it big time. I suffered the consequences. But you see God works in mysterious ways, thats a reminder of me why Adultery is a sin and I never ever will go back into that again.




Your post was deep and really struck a cord in me. You are absolutely right about it being a trap, and walking in the other woman's shoes.

I have a similar story, but I was the other woman. I was in an affair with a married man for nearly a year and ahalf... however I DID NOT KNOW HE WAS MARRIED! He lied like a fr*ggin DOG. He took me around his kids, his home, his family, his work for God's sake. Paraded me, his unknowing mistress, around... the audacity! Finally, finally when it all came to light, the wife called my house and we talked. I explained I didn't know he was married (BTW she was 6 months pregnant at the time), and that I am NOT a homewrecker and that she would not have to worry about me. She wasn't angry at me, I guess that was not the first time he had done something like that.... can you believe the nerve???

I respect you for being a strong woman and getting through it!

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TAMAITI VAIMOSO

Date:

ADULTERY IN SAMOA IS GOOD I LIKE TO SCREW WOMEN WHO ARE MARRIED.SO FUNNY I DID IT WEN THIS LADY FROM APIA I MET IN THE BAR WE WENT BACK TO HER HOUSE WHILE HER HUSBAND WAS SLEEPING CAUSE HE WAS DRUNK I GOT MA F_CK ON WITH HER IT WAS GOOD AND SOO FUNNY CAUSE OL BOY WAS SNORING AWAY WHILE I WAS GIVING IT TO HER MAKING THE SCREAMING FOR MOREbiggrin.gif

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Tamaiti Vaimomo

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TAMAITI VAIMOSO wrote:

ADULTERY IN SAMOA IS GOOD I LIKE TO SCREW WOMEN WHO ARE MARRIED.SO FUNNY I DID IT WEN THIS LADY FROM APIA I MET IN THE BAR WE WENT BACK TO HER HOUSE WHILE HER HUSBAND WAS SLEEPING CAUSE HE WAS DRUNK I GOT MA F_CK ON WITH HER IT WAS GOOD AND SOO FUNNY CAUSE OL BOY WAS SNORING AWAY WHILE I WAS GIVING IT TO HER MAKING THE SCREAMING FOR MOREbiggrin.gif






Yea heard her screaming cause she couldnt believe how small you were

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kAfioLae

Date:

The Truth wrote:

Virgin wrote:

kAfioLae wrote:

Ok, now that's sad and very unfair.

I often wonder why women tend to go straight for the 'other woman' and cannot confront their own men. Why rage against the other person? At it's worse, that's what happens when you jump to far into conclusions, 2 innocent lives are taken away.

It's also sad why women persist to remain in these cheating, adulterous relationship. If the obvious is there save the heartache and leave. There are more better things to focus on in life than worry whether your man is cheating today or has cheated this week.






To answer your question, you will have to walk in those shoes as why woman stay in those kind of relationship. It like getting stuck in a mud the deeper you go in the harder to get out. Especially when this man tells you what you want to hear, they show you what you wanna see, and you fall into it like a trap. Ive been there and I regret it big time. I suffered the consequences. But you see God works in mysterious ways, thats a reminder of me why Adultery is a sin and I never ever will go back into that again.




Your post was deep and really struck a cord in me. You are absolutely right about it being a trap, and walking in the other woman's shoes.

I have a similar story, but I was the other woman. I was in an affair with a married man for nearly a year and ahalf... however I DID NOT KNOW HE WAS MARRIED! He lied like a fr*ggin DOG. He took me around his kids, his home, his family, his work for God's sake. Paraded me, his unknowing mistress, around... the audacity! Finally, finally when it all came to light, the wife called my house and we talked. I explained I didn't know he was married (BTW she was 6 months pregnant at the time), and that I am NOT a homewrecker and that she would not have to worry about me. She wasn't angry at me, I guess that was not the first time he had done something like that.... can you believe the nerve???

I respect you for being a strong woman and getting through it!




Much respect to the both of you for walking away from it.

And Virgin you are exactly right about men telling you what you want to hear and show you everything you want to see. Im not gonna get into details but in my situation when i found out about him, i told the woman everything her man was doing behind her back face to face. She was thankful i told her but wished he told her instead. Completely hurt, we both called him and i told him to stay away or i'd empty my .22 on him, and he knew i was capable of doing it. Following day mamacita calls and does a 360 on me and brushes me off as if i instigated the whole relationship. Found out later from his friends, he'd cheated on mamacita before and they were separated before. Ever heard the saying 'fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me'?

And you wonder why these women continue to stay in these relationships. I can understand abuse but what else? low self esteem? A palagi co-worker of mine, married 4 times, gave me the advice because i told him what i did and he said, 'there are some things you should keep to yourself and some things you should reveal'. B*llsh*t, i've never regretted telling her because in my heart i felt she deserved to know.

Anyway, things happen for a reason, Best Regards to the both of you.






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